Connell Barrett is the author of the Amazon bestselling title Dating Sucks, but You Don’t. Through his book, Connell teaches men to approach women with confidence, find quality matches on dating apps, and avoid the “friend zone.” He’s created a step-by-step blueprint for landing a soulmate using proven methods. His message is: you definitely don’t suck. With total self-confidence and great results, neither does dating. As the Vanity Fair reviewer said, “It’s the book every man needs to read and the book our culture needs right now.” As a men’s dating coach and founder of DatingTransformation.com, Connell helps men with issues of loneliness, rejection, not knowing how to flirt, and more. He’s helped thousands of clients overcome self-doubt, build true confidence, and find love.
Nine weeks after getting married, Connell’s wife left him for a guy on a Harley. Feeling completely rejected, he set out on a five-year quest to understand the art of how men and women connect. The most important lesson he learned was that to attract a wonderful woman, men had to commit to being “radically authentic.” Lean in, be vulnerable, and show her your true self. After correcting problems in his own love life, Connell started focusing on how he could help others by acting as the occasional wingman. Eventually he took on his first client. Ken had a lot going for him. He had a good teaching job at a college, fun sense of humor, and a big heart. However, Ken lacked confidence in dating and at nearly 30 years old didn’t view himself as much of a catch. Connell taught him confidence boosting techniques that not only landed him a few phone numbers, but his first kiss. Realizing his role in such a significant moment, this turned into a full-time business.
In the dating industry, Connell faced challenges proving to clients that he had their best interests in mind. A lot of people claim to teach success with women, but they don’t deliver results. Convincing people he wasn’t another scam artist was an uphill battle. His is a unique perspective since he isn’t just motivated by helping men. During the rise of the #MeToo movement, Connell recognized an opportunity to teach dating with integrity—no creepy “pick up” moves, no misogyny. For every man he coaches, he sees it as a way to help a dozen women. He knows that men leading with authenticity will treat women with the respect they deserve.
Connell has gone from nothing to a high six figure business in a short amount of time and he attributes a great deal of his achievements to his mindset. For him, fear is your friend, not your foe. “Fear can be a friend, a powerful force to harness, a call to action. It’s like the ocean winds, telling you where you want to go. You can trim your sails and let the gusts propel you to your destination. Or you can lower the sails and become lost at sea.” He finds success through client testimonies and seeing their results. When a client tells him the woman he met could be “the one”, or shares pictures of his newborn baby, it’s a priceless feeling. This motivated him to expand his business beyond coaching and inspired him to write Dating Sucks, but You Don’t. His prime objective is to help as many men as possible through self growth and evolving.
Although his work is rewarding, the pressures of being an entrepreneur are not lost on Connell. Running your own business will always come with worries. As you find financial freedom, these concerns don’t go away, they just become “high-quality” worries. Instead of fretting over losing everything while sitting in a used Toyota Corolla, you now get to do it while sitting in a Mercedes. When he first started, Connell had to overcome self-doubt all over again. But as with anyone setting up a business, he asked the important questions: 1) Do I have value to offer that can improve people’s lives? 2) Does the thought of starting my own business light me up? 3) If I were already a multi-millionaire, would I run this business for free? Answering yes to all three questions, he knew he was on the right path. He has stayed committed to his values: to teach men to be their true, best, authentic selves when overcoming that which holds them back in dating. This means zero lying, nonsense, and creepiness. It’s dating with integrity.
Connell has just one message for men: your mom was right. Women like you for you. So summon the courage to show women your true, authentic self. That’s what works. You can follow Connell on Instagram @datingtransformation.
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