“The Path to Getting Other People to Trust You Begins with Your Ability to Trust Yourself” Says David Bosley, Master’s Ranch Former Director
Youths are not sent to remote residential care because the authorities making decisions for their lives have great confidence in their trustworthiness, says David Bosley. But with a refreshed mindset, reformed patterns of behavior, and a reconstituted approach to daily life, adds Bosley former Master’s Ranch Former Director, troubled young people can become worthy of trust by learning to trust themselves.
David Bosley: “We do the right thing, period”
Some troubled young people have never had the basic moral instruction they need to make good life decisions, says Bosley.
These young people, he says, need intensive instruction on the values that inform moral actions. According to Bosley, they need role models who are utterly committed to practicing what they preach. They need the attitude, says Bosley, of “We do the right thing, and that is always what we do, period.”
But young people may need more than good role models to do this kind of learning, he says.
Modern psychiatrists and psychotherapists, says Bosley, are under intense pressure to check off the boxes that show that they meet the metrics that justify their payments from state welfare agencies and insurance companies. Therefore, he adds, it is not unusual for a therapist to be hunched over a computer taking notes while counseling a young person.
David Bosley says that nothing pulverizes empathy quite like being tethered to an electronic device. The counseling sessions that change lives, he says, change them faster in an electronics-free environment.
Trust requires authenticity
“We all know about walking the walk instead of just talking the talk, but the authenticity worthy of trust is more than that,” says Bosley. “Everyone “wobbles” at some point on some moral issues in their lives. The ability to be authentic and trustworthy with others requires both counselor and counselee to take stock of where they wobble in relationship with themselves.”
Building character, says Bosley, requires the ability to be honest about one’s ambitions. Everyone needs to know what things excite and inspire them, he says, even if others would not approve or might belittle them.
A counselor, says Bosley, can work with a dysfunctional ambition but not with disguised ambition.
“Young people in recovery need to be able to articulate their needs and desires so they can find a way to provide for them,” says Bosley. “In a healthy environment, they will realize what they need that is good for them and begin to appreciate the rewards of a redeemed life.”
“Bear one another’s burdens,” says David Bosley, Master’s Ranch Former Director, “and thus fulfill the law of Christ”
In a redemptive community, says Bosley, everyone bears the burden of being just a little (or a lot) different. Accepting others where they are in the real task of inclusion, he says, is much easier in a remote, controlled, noise-free environment.
The lesson of places like Master’s Ranch Christian Academy, says David Bosley, is that providing a space for redemptive changes in character and transformed lives isn’t as hard as one might think. This kind of transformation takes much less audacity than continuing a life of sin and failure, he says. “When Christian leaders practice the integrity and reverence for the authority of God’s Word, they seek to instill it in others.”
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