The Value in Making an Amends within the Family

Making amends to family members is perhaps the most important amends that can be made.
The family is the most crucial of all social systems, and relationships in the family are in jeopardy when resentments arise.

Consider the ways you believe a family member may have done wrong to you. Did they apologize in any way? Did the offender offer to make it right? Maybe, but typically the answer is “no”, there was no apology or any offer restitution. Consider how different it would be if the offender came to you and honestly admitted to their wrongdoing and offer to correct the matter in a way that would right the wrong. Notice the difference?

When amends happens in a family, it helps rebuild trust and creates a deeper love bond between the two individuals. Whether it is a parent making amends to their child, a married person making amends to their spouse, or a sibling making amends to their other siblings, an honest effort to making thorough amends has incredible curative power for the relationship.

The most challenging part is overcoming one’s ego’s desire to be right. History is full of wars over individuals needing to be right, and in relationships, particularly within the family, the need to be right is detrimental. The ego demands to be right; however, the heart must grow and it will not grow if the ego must be right. Sadly, there is no other option – one must genuinely admit to being wrong at one’s core and admit it to others. It is the only option for restoring a bond between family members who love each other.

Apologies are not enough for restoring that which was lost. The only honest and enduring way to heal from resentment is by making a conscious amends by admitting to wrongdoings and that saying that one will do whatever is necessary for to make it right. The process brings the individuals involved to a place of understanding and trust so that love may flourish and happiness reign.

Making amends to family members is perhaps the most important amends that can be made, because one’s family is who will be there when times get difficult. Likewise, family members can be the easiest to make amends to. This is because those individuals who are closest will be most understanding. Families want to be together; and therefore, will have the most willingness to accept an amends. 

Distributed by Client Initiatives

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