The popular drama television series “This Is Us”, which premiered on NBC in 2016, details the lives and families of two parents, their two biological children and one adopted child.
In anticipation of the upcoming third season of “This is us”, scheduled to premiere on September 25th, Wendy Gossett, a Colorado family temperament specialist, reveals a few parenting tips that we can learn from the show, based on the Myer’s Brigg’s personality of each main character on the show.
The Myer’s Briggs’s personality indicator is a popular system used to determine an individual’s preferences on four dichotomies. The various combinations of these preferences result in four main personality types, which are associated with a unique set of behavioral characteristics and values. These then provide an excellent starting point for both self-development and leadership or team development.
Gossett believes that “Knowing your personality type is very important for self-development and it becomes even much more important once you are a parent. The same applies to knowing the personality of your kids.” The TV show “This is us” features a lot of different combinations of parent and children personalities, resulting in many valuable lessons for us, the viewers.”
Understand your strengths and weaknesses
The ESTP (Extroversion, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving) father Jack Pearson, played by Milo Ventimiglia, is charismatic, spontaneous, and usually has a relaxed approach to life. However, ESTP people are also more prone to addiction because they are impulsive, sensory seekers. Jack and his two biological children, Kate and Kevin, are all free-spirited, sensory seeking, perceiving types.
Gossett says that “When a parent understands their own strengths and weaknesses, as well of those of their children, they can distinguish themselves from each other and forewarn their children about destructive tendencies.”
Use creative ways to deal with conflict
The ENFJ type (Extraversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging) is represented by Rebecca Pearson, the mother, played by Mandy Moore. She is relational, insightful, a passionate performer.
The ENFJ type usually prefers a more structured lifestyle and open lines of communication.
If they have a free-spirited, introverted child, SP (Sensory Perceiver), as it happens on the show, conflict can be tricky.
Gossett shares that “Passing a two-way journal back and forth would allow an introverted child more time to think and respond to their extroverted mother, in a non-confrontational way.”
Adjust your parenting approach to match your child’s personality
The ESTJ (Extraversion, Sensing, Thinking, Judgment) adopted son Randall Pearson, played by Sterling K. Brown, is a driven, trustworthy, overachiever who actually appreciates parental guidance and advice. This type can seem almost superhuman because of their ability to carry the world on their shoulders. Since they naturally respect authority, they are often envied as the “golden children” who set the bar too high. This can cause sibling rivalry, especially when the siblings are opposite personalities. The Pearson parents can’t parent their two sons in the same way.
Parents who are structured, tend to have an easier time parenting children with similar personalities. It is useful for parents to read about the different personalities of their children, so they know which approach works best.
Don’t make comparisons and know when to hold back advice
The ESFP (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling and Perceiving) biological son Kevin Pearson, played by Justin Harley, and the ISFP (Introverted Sensing, Feeling and Perceiving) biological daughter Kate Pearson, played by Chrissy Metz, are free-spirited individuals who need to express their deep feelings artistically. Kevin needs to differentiate himself from his seemingly perfect brother, Randall, and Kate needs to differentiate herself from her seemingly perfect mother, Rebecca.
“All children will try to differentiate themselves from each other, as well as from their parents. Parents need to respect their children’s unique personalities, and not make comparisons. They also need to know when to give advice and when to hold back. Unsolicited advice, given at the wrong moment, can cause children to go in the opposite direction.”
One on one time is critical
“One on one time between parent and child is a powerful way to make each child feel special. In an adoptive household like the Pearson’s, biological son, Kevin, needs this kind of attention even more. Parent/child connection is the number one way to prevent at-risk behaviors”, concludes Gossett.
To take a free child test and learn more about family temperament tips and testing visit www.PeopleWorksCo.com or call (303) 981-4997.